'Tis the season to ..overindulge!

Oh dear, done it again, blown the diet! To start at the beginning; I've been on a diet for a while - well, I say 'a diet', I'm actually on two. You don't get enough to eat on one, do you?
And anyway, I figured that if you lose weight on one diet, you'd lose even more on two. One diet is an Atkins type thing where you can eat as much protein as you like. The other is a vegetarian diet where you eat loads of carrots and stuff. So, I've been sticking to my combined diets eating only meat, eggs, cheese and fish with lots of veg. It's been a struggle to stick to it, but it's been worth it; I lost two ounces last month.
Then along comes Christmas. Time to dust off The Blessed Delia's Christmas cookbook once again and get the mince pie production line rolling! First, make a list of all the Christmas necessities: sultanas, chocolate, raisins, chocolate, brandy, chocolate, currants and all the rest of the essentials, like chocolate. Now, strictly speaking, chocolate is not part of either diet; being neither protein nor veg. So I shouldn't be eating it. Then I thought 'soddit, it's Christmas' So I've put the diets on hold for a week or two. Best plan, eh?
Anyway, not in Mrs Admin's best books at the minute. She said she'd join me in doing the dieting thing. I told her no, no my love. You don't need to diet; you really suit chubby. Now she's taken the hump for some reason; I don't know, you can't even pay a woman a compliment these days! I tried to make it up by getting her a really nice Christmas present, but that just seemed to make her worse. Anyway, I give up; that's the last new ironing board she gets from me at Christmas!
Bah humbug!